修改前

BEFORE

修改後

AFTER

(英文自我介紹修改效果)
"Good morning/afternoon. （由 Hello! 改為更正式的開場，貼近面試語境）My name is XX. I hold a Bachelor's in Pharmacy and a Master's in Pharmacology, a background that has ingrained in me a deep respect for precision and accuracy.

For nearly two years, I applied this mindset as a Research Assistant at a medical device company. （把學術訓練延伸為職場心態與實務應用，敘事更流暢）My role involved more than just research; I was responsible for the meticulous management of extensive clinical data and confidential files. This required me to organize large datasets for statistical analysis and ensure every document was flawlessly maintained. （以行動與結果呈現能力，避免空泛形容）I believe these core skills in data integrity and systematic records management are directly transferable to the demands of an administrative position.

I am eager to bring my analytical abilities and collaborative spirit to the public sector. I am confident that my unique background will allow me to make a meaningful contribution to your organization and to society. Thank you for this opportunity."（結尾簡潔專業）

(英文自我介紹原文)

Hello! My name is XX, and I hold a degree in Pharmacy fromXXXXUniversity, as well as a Master's degree in Pharmacology. After graduation, I worked as a research assistant at a medical device company for nearly two years.

I possess professional skills in statistical work and file management. I am able to effectively organize and process large amounts of data and conduct accurate analysis. Additionally, I have excellent teamwork and communication skills that are essential for achieving common organizational goals.

My strengths include being meticulous, detail-oriented, and focused. These qualities enable me to deliver high-quality work. Although I have never worked in an administrative position, I possess excellent professional knowledge and skills. 

I am very grateful for the opportunity to interview with you. I look forward to joining the government and making contributions to society. Thank you!